As an adult, this is what I dream about.

Dear Gai,

As a little girl I always dreamt of getting married. My dad walking me down the aisle, my dress with a two metre long train, flowers everywhere and the biggest cake anyone had ever seen. I would debate whether to have a winter wedding (faux fur capelet) versus a spring wedding (better flowers). In my imagination there were no obstacles, no budgets, no expectations. I never gave too much thought to who I would marry, I just always assumed I'd fall in love and we'd live happily ever after. 

That’s all changed now. I am a lesbian. It saddens me to think I may never have an opportunity to plan my own wedding. I may never get to have my dad walk me down the aisle. I may never get to try on wedding dress after wedding dress, looking for the perfect train. I may never get to meet with the florist and choose my favourite bouquet. I may never get to go cake tasting, and choose the most over the top cake possible. 

I may never get to seriously consider creating my winter wonderland wedding, or my spring fling wedding. I may never have to face the obstacle of culling a guest list, cutting out ice sculptures because of our budget, never argue with my mum because she expected fruit cake. 

I have always imagined myself as a bride. I’ve always imagined boring my children with photos of their parent’s wedding. I’ve always imagined going through the traditional anniversary gifts; paper, lace, crystals, diamonds. I’ve always imagined my children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, extended family and friends coming over to celebrate our Golden wedding anniversary. 

How can it be, in Australia, in 2011, this is not a possibility? How can it be that in a country that prides itself on its accepting nature, progressiveness, and forward thinking we are so behind in a basic human right? 1st of July 2009 saw a lot of progress made in Australian Legislation regarding same sex relationships. 84 changes were made, including areas such a social benefits, immigration, superannuation, tax. So, why wasn’t the Marriage Act 1961 changed? I mean, it can’t be as a way of preserving the sanctity of marriage, as hetero couples have married at McDonalds. It can’t be as a way of preserving family values, as many homosexual couples raise children. It can’t be because of the Church’s opposition as civil marriage is distinctly distinguished from religious marriage. 

I am asking that you take a stand, and support me in my fight for the right to stand in front of my family and friends, and declare my love for the woman across from me, the person to whom I pledge to spend my life with. As an adult, this is what I dream about. 

 

Sophie Bazzana.